.................This is an essay.....grade it for me.....?

OK, I've recently been hired as an English teacher and my opinion is that you actually DO need advice. Until you learn how to correctly conjugate verbs and use punctuation, I wouldn't give you more than a 6/10 on this. Handing in an essay with such poor English shows that you don't even care enough to use the Grammar Check that comes standard with Microsoft Word.